Left Unsaid
by slothen
Summary: Ron and Luna fight each other and their mutual attraction. How long can they last?
1. Author's Note

            Standard Disclaimer: These characters are not my property, nor is the Harry Potter series.  They belong to J.K. Rowling and whoever else has bought rights to it.

            Setting: Hogwarts.  Ron's sixth year, Luna's fifth.

            Summary: Luna and Ron fight each other and their mutual attraction.  How long can they last?

            Explanation:  I know this story is probably material you might find in a teen movie.  I can imagine Molly Ringwald as Ginny Weasely, Ally Sheedy(sp?) as Luna Lovegood and Anthony Michael Hall as Ron.  This will eventually become either R or NC-17, based on your perception.  Rest assured the NC-17 chapter(s) will be posted elsewhere.  This piece is my first contribution to Harry Potter fandom.  I've become fascinated with the Ginny/Draco pairing and happen to find the Ron/Luna pairing to be frickin' adorable.  I was disappointed to find that there are few (that I've found anyway) adult Ron/Luna stories.  I happen to find that genre the most interesting.

            I apologize if there are parts in this story that don't match up with details from the books.  I only read them all very recently, in the course of a couple weeks.  I'm sure I didn't really absorb it all.  If you find any, drop a review and let me know.  But be friendly.  Thanks.


	2. In My Head

            Luna stared at the shining copper head of the second youngest Weasley from across the Three Broomsticks.  Her gaze never left him, even when he glanced at her occasionally with eyebrows raised in question.  She finally looked away when he leaned over to whisper something to Hermione who looked over at Luna and scowled in a very Hermione-ish manner.

            Luna sighed, feeling desperately lonely but knowing that if she were to mingle amongst the students it would be accompanied by disapproving looks, obvious whispers and an insult or two.  Normally she didn't mind it so much, but she had been feeling strangely lately.  Especially when Ronald was about.

            The Three Broomsticks was crowded and stifling, so much so that even she felt uncomfortable.  Luna felt a sudden need for fresh air and fought her way through the crowd of Hogwarts students, some of whom sneered at her passing, toward the exit.

            The fresh air filled her lungs not a moment too soon.  She felt more herself after only a moment and looked about dreamily.

            Citizens and Hogwarts visitors alike milled about the streets of Hogsmeade.  Luna accidentally caught the eye of a pair of Slytherin seventh years.  They started toward her, elbowing each other and laughing without taking their eyes off her.  Luna looked around for some type of escape but they were on her in no time.

            "Who are you waiting for out here, Looney?  Is someone from St. Mungo's coming to take you back home?" one of them taunted.  The other laughed and knocked her large purse out of her hand.  It fell to the dirty ground with a _thump and a few things spilled out of it.  Before she could move a muscle one of them snatched something off the ground.  It gleamed in the bright afternoon sun._

            "Who's this, Looney?  She looks as crazy as you do!" one of them said.  He held in his hand one of the few portraits of her mother, which she had framed at her own expense and kept in her purse.  It was a very small portrait but Luna treasured it.  It had been taken when Luna was two years old.  In it, her mother was kneeling down on Luna's level and they blew soap bubbles into the air together.  The bubbles floated and popped within the movement of the picture.  It was a memory from her childhood that she did not recall but kept the picture regardless.  She sometimes brought it out and wondered if her mum had ever blown soap bubbles with Luna's father.

            Any other possession and Luna would have simply given it up as gone for good and walked away with the remnants of her purse.  But this was different.  Luna reached for it but the boy levitated it high above her head.  When she stood on her tiptoes to reach it the other boy tripped her.  Before she could even think to hold her arms out to prevent her face from hitting the cobblestone she wasn't falling anymore.  She found herself being held up by a pair of very strong and very male arms.  She was quickly brought back to her feet.  Feeling more than a little dizzy, Luna nearly fell again.

            "Give me that portrait," Ron demanded.  Standing nearly two inches above the taller boy, he made a formidable opponent.  However the Slytherins weren't about to lose face to not only a Gryffindor, but a Weasley to boot.

            "What are you going to do about it?" one of the boys said with a sneer.  The other snorted with laughter.

            "Two against one, is it?  Don't you think we should even this out?" said Harry, as he stepped up behind Ron with his wand held firmly at his side.  Luna moved her head between the two pairs as if she were watching a muggle tennis match.

            Harry's reputation preceded him and the Slytherins seemed a bit nervous at this.  They knew of the tangles that Harry and Ron had gotten themselves into with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.  Their self preservation took priority against proving themselves.  The one holding Luna's portrait threw it down onto the cold ground and they both walked briskly away from the scene.

            Luna kneeled down to pick up the shattered remnants of the picture frame her portrait had been held in.  The portrait now safely tucked away in her pocket Luna felt once again at peace.  She looked up to thank Ron for saving her from what could have been a rather painful fall but saw only Harry looking down at her.

            "Do you need help, Luna?" he asked with a slight smile on his lips.  He obviously had not forgotten their encounter at the very end of fifth year.

            "No, I've got it from here.  Thank you, Harry," she assured him; trying to mask her disappointment that Ron had already left.  She swept the rest of her possessions (a pair of muggle tweezers, a small plastic container holding sugar and a pair of very large bifocals missing their right lens) into her purse and straightened up.  Harry had already run to catch up with Ron's retreating form.

            "Does that happen a lot, Luna?" a female voice said behind her.  Luna turned to find Hermione in the doorway of the Three Broomsticks, staring into Luna's wide eyes.  Luna only smiled slightly and started humming "Weasely is Our King" as she walked slowly away.  Hermione stared after her, shaking her head.

~ ~ ~ ~

            "For Merlin's sake, is she staring at me _again_?" Ron asked Hermione, exasperation heavy in his voice.  Hermione couldn't help the wide grin that split her face, for indeed Luna had been staring at the back of Ron's head for the fifth time that day.

            They sat in the dining hall, eating their evening meal.  As Ron stuffed roasted turkey into his mouth with no lack of enthusiasm he had become aware of that funny feeling of being watched.  It had become an all too familiar sensation that day, for he had caught Luna staring at him unabashedly several times.  Her wide eyes nearly bore holes into the back of his head.  Even when he had turned round to give her a dirty look she still had not looked away.

            "Do you think she's really nutters?  D'you think she'll do something weird to me?" Ron asked, setting his fork down and looking very harassed.

            "She's eccentric, but certainly not insane.  What are you so worried for?" Harry asked, digging into his potatoes.  Ron mumbled something, trying to hunch over as low as he could so as not to attract her attention.

            "It's not working," Hermione said in an insanely annoying sing-song voice.

            "That's the last time I help a girl with anything," Ron groaned, deeply regretting ever getting between Luna and the two Slytherin boys.  Especially since the two had taken to harassing him in the hallways of Hogwarts.  He did well enough when it came to taking care of himself and had felt a little put out by the fact that Harry had stepped in the day before.  He was positive he could have handled the situation perfectly.

            After they had finished their meal, the Trio made their way back to the common room with the other Gryffindors.  Ron was relieved to see Luna headed toward the Ravenclaw dormitories.  He decided to give her a taste of her own medicine and stared at the back of _her_ head.  She did not seem to notice however as she pushed past a gaggle of giggling Ravenclaw third years.  The girls exchanged a comment or two about the bright blonde then went back to their commentary on the "cutest Quidditch player in third year".

            Ron felt a sharp jab to his ribs and had to stifle his surprised yip.

            "You two seem to enjoy staring at one another.  Why don't you ask her out and get it over with?" Hermione said, clearly enjoying every minute of this.  Harry, who had been silent the whole time couldn't hide his smile in time.  Ron caught it and scowled.

            "I am not interested in Luna Lovegood in the least.  She's completely nutters!" Ron said in his defense.  He and Hermione were both surprised when Harry finally spoke up.

            "She's not crazy at all.  You don't even know her," he said quietly.  At that moment they had approached the portrait of The Fat Lady.  Harry called out the password and stepped through, Ron and Hermione following closely behind.  Still sulking, Ron went straight to bed.

            He laid in silence on his Gryffindor bed sheets, replaying the scene from the day before in his mind.  Stepping out of the Three Broomsticks in time to see Luna Lovegood reaching for a shiny object held above her head by a Slytherin boy, watching her feet as they were swept out from under her and finally the fall that seemed to last an eternity.

            He didn't know why he caught her or where exactly those amazingly fast reflexes had come from.

            All he knew was that incredibly thick-skulled girl wouldn't stop looking at him!

            _The sway of her hips is wildly seductive and he imagines what it would be like to hold them firmly above his own.  Would they be firm and muscled or soft and yielding?  Her small gentle smile no longer seems vacant but is unmistakably intelligent.  He knows she can hold her own and is turned on like he never has been before._

_            He watches her on the arm of another boy, the fluttering in his stomach an insane jealously.  It tickles his throat and makes him want to scream. He imagines the boy running his fingers through her long golden hair.  He imagines him stroking her skin.  Hair, skin, teeth and nails that he thinks belong to him rightfully.  He wants to hurt him and wipe the smile off his face.  He wants her to look at him like she used to._

_            Everything changes and she is under him, asleep.  He doesn't put his weight on her because he's afraid she'll wake up.  He doesn't want to disturb her after the day she's had.  She had fallen asleep with wet tears still on her cheeks and they have still not dried completely.  Her father has just died and her grief suffuses his insides so he feels as if his own father has died too.  It is a strange feeling, because he has only met her father once or twice._

_            Next they are blowing bubbles together in a large field.  She exclaims over their beauty as they pop and she catches them softly in the palm of her hand and keeps them intact for a few seconds.  He is not looking at the bubbles.  He is looking at her and imagining what their child will look like if they ever have one.  She notices him looking at her and not the bubbles.  She is waiting for him to say something, but he has never been able to form pretty words for her.  So he smiles instead and hopes she understands._

_            When she looks away he knows that she does._

Ron awakened to the sight of Harry's face right above him.  It certainly wasn't what he had been expecting.  He had been thoroughly convinced that a face framed by long blonde hair would greet him, but instead he found himself uncomfortably close to his best friend.

            "Gah!  What are you doing, you stupid git?" Ron said, sitting up in bed and throwing off his covers.  Harry looked embarrassed and backed away.

            "You wouldn't wake up so I was going to shake you.  We're going to be late," Harry said.  Ron pulled on his school clothes and robes in a flash and was running out of the abandoned dormitory with Harry in a matter of five minutes.  They were accustomed to this by now, as Ron was particularly fond of sleeping in.

            "What kind of dream were you having, Ron?  It must have been a good one," Harry said as they made their way to Divinations.  Ron turned an unnatural shade of red and Harry took this as answer enough.

            "Who was in it, then?  Lavender Brown?  Parvati Patil?"

            "Can't I even keep my dreams to myself?" Ron asked gruffly.  Harry was not fooled and laughed at his friend's embarrassed coloring.

            As red as his face was, it wasn't nearly as red as it would be later when he spotted the object of his dream in the dining hall.  The dream had left him with questions upon questions.  He found that he could not look at her wide eyes without imagining them glazed over with pleasure or half-closed in the midst of an orgasm.  This served to not only give him a humiliating tightening in his trousers but to also make him more angry than he'd been in a long time.

            _That damned minx has cursed me.  I suddenly go from not noticing her a bit to having her in my fecking dreams!_

He turned round to give her a glare and show her that he was on to her dirty tricks, but found that she was nowhere to be seen.  This infuriated Ron to no end.  When he got up from the table he ignored both Hermione and Harry with their questioning looks.

            He just hoped he would be able to catch her while he was still angry.  He had a hell of a lot to say and if he was allowed to calm down at all he'd never get a chance to say it.

            He was fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to catch her in the hall leading to Ravenclaw Tower.  Luna did not seem to notice his rapidly approaching footsteps as she made her way calmly to the stairwell.  He had to grab her upper arm to turn her around.  When they were face to face, he found that the words he had been repeating over and over in his head would not do him any good.  She had an oblivious grin on her face.

            "Hello, Ronald.  I'm happy to see you, too," she said, taking his grabbing her as an enthusiastic greeting.

            "Don't call me Ronald!" was all he could muster, even though he had a lot of other things to be angrier about.

            "That's your name, isn't it?  My father used to have a man working for his newspaper who was named Ronald.  He didn't have red hair, though.  It was brown.  Do you have trouble finding clothes that coordinate with your hair?" she went on, not the least bit as frazzled as Ron was.

            "What have you done to me?" Ron asked, pointing his finger in her face.

            "Done?" Luna asked, her smile still plastered to her face but a confused gleam in her blue eyes.

            "You've cursed me!  You'd better tell me what you used on me and lift it.  Do you think it's funny that I have to think about you all the time?  It's very selfish of you," he said through his clenched jaw.  That seemed to wipe the smile right off her face.

            "Cursed you?  _Cursed you_?  And they call me Looney?  Ha!"  She said.  With that she turned around, whipping her hair behind her shoulder hard enough to hit Ron with the ends and walked away.

            Ron was left behind, gaping at her.


	3. Flying Toast

            Short Author's Note: I just want to start off by thanking everyone who reviewed the first chapter.  I was very pleasantly surprised by all the compliments and constructive feedback.  You guys rock.

            "Oh, shut up already!  Why don't you just talk to him?" Gretchen exploded, waving her arms animatedly.  That was Gretchen's way of showing she was fed up, and Luna was quite used to seeing the display.  Luna rather enjoyed it though and goaded the other Ravenclaw on.

            "He looks at me now like I'm some awful potion ingredient in Professor Snape's class.  I'd rather he didn't notice me at all," Luna responded, sighing dramatically and hiding her smile when Gretchen practically _growled_ and slammed her fist on the table.

            "You git!  He's the first boy who's noticed you, who doesn't have malicious intent might I add, and you're sitting here whining about it?  He hangs about Harry freaking Potter!  He's popular!" Gretchen said, digging in to her breakfast angrily.  Luna could just feel the other girl's jealousy seeping out between them.  Since Gretchen had transferred to Hogwarts she'd had her eye on The Boy Who Lived.  When she saw that she wasn't up to his speed, she had started to cast her eye upon his best friend.

            "Do you want me to ask him if he likes you?" Luna asked innocently.  One could imagine her surprise when a piece of toast (butter side up) hit her square in the face.  When she'd wiped the sticky mess off her face she opened her eyes to see Gretchen with her hand clamped tightly over her mouth.

            "I'm sorry, Luna!  I don't know what came over me!" the other girl apologized profusely, even offering to wipe the bits of butter out of Luna's eyebrows with her napkin.  Luna looked up at the girl who had a napkin poised near Luna's face and couldn't help the laughter that seized her.  Gretchen stared for a moment, still trying to maintain that horror-stricken look upon her face.  But soon even she couldn't contain the onslaught of giggles.  When the laughter had died down several minutes later, the other girl spoke again.

            "Honestly, Luna.  If you're that preoccupied with him, talk to him about it.  Maybe if you calmly explained to him that you haven't cursed him he'll see reason," Gretchen rationalized, picking up her other piece of toast and biting into it.

            "Oh, no one takes me seriously.  I'm sure he'll discover on his own how much of a moron he's being," Luna said, more to convince herself than Gretchen.  The girl gave her an odd look and gulped down her orange juice.

            "C'mon, silly.  It's time for your favorite class," Gretchen said, grabbing her school bag and scooting away from the table.

            "Care for Magical Creatures?" Luna asked hopefully.

            "No, better than that.  Double Potions!"

            Luna groaned.

            Luna didn't have to see Ronald all day until the evening rolled around.  Before, she had been the one to stare at him.  Now his eyes followed her everywhere she went.  It was nice to have some attention from a boy, even if it was under unpleasant circumstances.  Although she did find that at this particular meal on this particular day she wasn't bothered in the least by thoughts of Ronald Weasley.  She had just received an owl post from her father earlier when she'd been reading a favorite novel by the lake.  An owl she'd never seen before had delivered the message and she'd fed him a piece of bread sprinkled with the sugar she kept handy in her purse.

            _My dear Luna,_

_            Your last post made me very happy.  I'm glad to hear that your classes are going so well.  From what you've told me, there isn't a student in Hogwarts whom you haven't befriended!  That brings me great relief._

_            I do have to give you a spot of bad news, which pains me.  My assignment here in the tropics has gone on longer than any of us expected.  We are seeing signs of our great beast, but of course I can't give you the details here.  You never know who has prying eyes and might steal our newspaper's big break._

_            Sadly, that brings me to the point of this brief letter.  I'll not be able to take you with me on Christmas holiday to the Rainforests as we planned.  I know you were very excited, love.  I was too.  But my work is making demands on me again and I must see to that and get it settled.  But when I do, rest assured, I am going to spend time with my favorite blue-eyed girl!  Although we won't be spending the holidays together again, I did want to ask what you think of a vacation together this summer holiday.  Of course our destination will be a surprise!  Owl me and tell me what you think._

_            With love always,_

_            Dad_

Luna had learned long ago to quell her great disappointment and move on.  It hadn't been the first time that her father had backed out of a father/daughter vacation with her.  She felt terrible for him, having to work all the time.  She supposed that the newspaper needed him more often now in the past several years.  She didn't know if they were in trouble or when it all started.

            All she knew was that he'd always been home for Christmas when Mum was alive.

            "Oh, shut up already!  Why don't you just talk to her?" Harry said exasperatedly, rolling his eyes.  Ron ignored this, looking over Harry's shoulder again and narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

            "Look at her over there.  Talking to that—what's her name?  Gargantua?  Greta?" Ron stumbled over the other girl's name.

            "Gretchen, I believe," Harry supplied.  

            "Yes.  Gretchen.  They're talking about me.  I know it.  And they're laughing!  They're probably giggling over the curse they've conspired together to bring upon me," Ron said, stuffing oatmeal into his mouth.  Harry couldn't take it anymore.

            "If you don't stop with your constant suspicion and conspiracy theories I will personally break your broomstick over my knee and forbid you to ever play Quidditch again!" Harry said, narrowing his eyes to show Ron he meant it.

            "That's cold.  I thought you were my best pal.  My confidant.  My buddy," Ron said.

            "I am.  Doesn't mean I don't think you're an idiot sometimes.  Besides, you need to get it out of your head that she's plotting against you.  Girls aren't enemies anymore.  It's not first year, y'know," Harry explained.

            "I know that, you arse.  But you've heard all the stories about her.  How come you defend her?"

            "I just know her better than you do, that's all," Harry said, loathe to explain that encounter at the end of fifth year.  He didn't think Ron would understand.

            "How much better?" Ron asked, again with his familiar suspicion.

            "Oh, will you just let up?" piped up a voice that had been quiet up 'till then.  They looked over at Hermione who had put her thick book down.  She looked at Ron with that self-important look upon her face.

            "She's only a girl.  A young woman, I might say.  She'll not pound you flat or anything if you just talk to her.  She's no Millicent Bullstrode," Hermione said.  Harry snorted and Ron couldn't help laughing too.  Hermione rarely said anything funny and when she did it was a rare treat.  Hermione tried to look serious but they both saw the grin that she tried to hide behind her open book.


	4. A Lesson or Two

            Ronald Weasely had something that belonged to Luna Lovegood.

            Ronald Weasely had _stolen_ something that belonged to Luna Lovegood.

            Ron couldn't believe his good luck.  The fact that he'd been behind her the precise moment that certain something had fallen out of her purse, the fact that she hadn't noticed it at all or that he'd bent to pick something up immediately behind her was fantastically lucky, something he wasn't accustomed to.

            Okay, so he hadn't technically _stolen_ it.  He'd simply picked it up and failed to mention it to her.  What was he supposed to do, turn it into a lost and found?

            Harry had insisted that he should, but Ron wasn't about to let an opportunity like this slip through his fingers.  Literally.  Harry might be perfectly content playing the good guy, but Ron was going to exact revenge and enjoy every minute of it.

            Ron picked his way through the throng of Hogwarts students toward the library.  He had plans to spend his lunch break in there, looking up all sorts of curses and spells he could place on that silly Ravenclaw.  Any other situation and he would have simply gone to Hermione, but he had a feeling that wouldn't be wise.  She would probably run to tell Luna.  Girls sometimes joined unlikely forces to plot against men folk, Fred and George used to say.  Fred and George knew loads about people and what made them tick.  Otherwise they wouldn't be so successful at running a business.

            Last night Ron had started to calm down and lose his grip on his various conspiracy theories involving Luna Lovegood.  Harry had finally gotten him to listen to "reason" and see things "logically".  But then he'd had that dream and he was right back at square one.  He'd had a dream about shagging, which wasn't anything new to him recently.  But his dream self had been shagging a particular Ravenclaw fifth year on a desk in Professor Snape's Potions classroom.

            He knew it was her handiwork, for he'd never be caught dead having a shag with _anyone in Professor Snape's dungeons.  No matter how shiny and full their long blonde hair was or how round and firm their breasts were or how skilled their tongue—_

            He had to stop thinking about that.

            Ron walked among the shelves upon shelves of books in the library.  Madame Pince was too busy to notice him as she was preoccupied with glaring at a group of rowdy Slytherin first years.

            Hmm.  _Love spells and Potions for Beginners.  That sounded too good to be true, so he flipped through the pages._

            _Warning to all who purchase, borrow, steal, find, or—oh bugger it all!  To anyone who reads this book:_

_            These potions and spells are for the beginner lover.  It is meant purely for entertainment and should never be used criminally or in a dangerous manner.  These spells and potions are not long-lasting and only take effect for no more than three days at a time.  If a potion or spell is used longer than this, I will know and I will personally find you and break your wand.  If I am dead by the time you read this then I will haunt you for years to come._

_            Thank you for reading and please consider my other great works!  _Mary Poppins, a Biography _and _Healing Potions for Parents.

            Ron flipped to check the About the Author page and assured himself that the author was indeed most likely dead by now.  A ghost certainly wouldn't have the authority to break his wand.  Ron made his way to the desk of Madame Pince in short order to sign the book out.  The librarian eyed him suspiciously and Ron laughed nervously.

            "It's for Charms," Ron lied.  Madam Pince narrowed her eyes as she muttered something and a date appeared on the inside cover.

            "Turn it in before this date or else," she threatened.  Ron gave her a tense half-smile and hurried out as fast as his long legs could carry him.

…

            Later on, he showed the book to Harry.  They were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, heads bent over it.  To Ron's great surprise, Harry was not completely against the idea of Ron borrowing the book.  Quite the opposite in fact, he was fascinated by it.

            "So these spells will make anyone fall in love with you?  For at least three days?" he had asked with his eyes wide beneath his glasses.

            "It depends on which spell you choose, but some of them do.  Did you have someone in mind?" Ron asked.  Now it was Harry's turn to flush a deep red.  Ron quite enjoyed the payback.

            "What are you two reading, then?" Hermione suddenly appeared above them and snatched the book from Harry's hand.  She glanced over it and her eyes became wide.  She stared at Harry in a curious way.

            "Harry Potter!  What are you doing with this book?" she demanded, and Ron imagined steam coming out of her ears.  Harry looked to Ron for support but Ron merely sat back to wait for Harry's explanation.

            "I—er, that is--Ron—" he stammered, never quite reaching a solid sentence before Hermione dropped the book onto the chair and stomped off.  The exchange had attracted Ginny Weasley's attention and she walked over to pick up the offending book.

            "Why is Hermione so fired up?" she asked them, leafing through the book and not seeming surprised at it in the least.  Of course Ron knew why this was, but wasn't about to reveal that yet.

            Nearly everyone who attended Hogwarts knew that Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy were "seeing" each other, even if the two thought it was still a secret.  It was never mentioned to Ron and everyone assumed that he was none the wiser.  Even Harry and Hermione opted to keep him in the dark about the whole thing.  Ron rather enjoyed playing the ignorant brother and looked at it as a very fun game.

            Of course he'd initially detested the idea, especially after seeing it with his own eyes.  One night he'd snuck out of bed and made his way to the kitchens for a midnight snack, but instead of a lovely peanut butter and pickle sandwich he'd gotten an eyeful.  He had seen Draco Malfoy handling his sister's _feminine attributes in a very inappropriate way.  Besides being sick to his stomach for days, he'd also been in a rage.  Before he had gotten a chance to turn the Slytherin pervert into the pile of shite that he was, they had ducked out of sight without ever noticing him._

            He had been more than ready the next morning to teach the pair a lesson, but when he had entered the dining hall and seen them looking at each other from across the room in a most unusual way; he had reasoned with himself that it would be a bad idea indeed.  He rather imagined that Draco Malfoy glanced at Ginny in the same way his father looked at his mother at the Burrow.  So he had played ignorant of the entire situation, sometimes teasing Ginny about the Slytherin prat.  He said things like "that Draco Malfoy doesn't seem to date very much.  Perhaps he doesn't like the ladies?" and would watch his sister's face turn as red as her hair with anger.  He could sometimes actually see her biting her tongue and straining to keep her fist from connecting with his eye.

            "I believe she doesn't like the idea of Harry casting love spells and cooking up love potions for unsuspecting girls," Ron explained, grabbing his book away from his little sister and poring through it again.  Harry looked over Ron's shoulder again and Ginny giggled.

            "You don't need some stupid book to make a girl fall in love with you," Ginny said, flipping her hair back with an air of superiority.

            "Really?  Then how?" Ron demanded, suddenly feeling very childish.  This made him a bit angry.

            "You do need a book, but not that one," Hermione spoke up.  She had returned without any of them noticing.  Harry exhaled in relief and pretended he hadn't been a bit interested in Ron's book.  Hermione placed the book she was carrying in Ginny's outstretched hand.  Ginny had the cover hidden beneath her hand so Ron and Harry couldn't read the title.  Ginny seemed fascinated by the thing and exclaimed over it.

            "Oh my!  May I borrow it, Hermione?" she asked, nearly putting her nose in it.  Hermione snorted and snatched it back.

            "_You don't need it, Ginny dear.  They do, however," she said, jerking her thumb toward the boys.  She handed the book to them and they read the front title with wide eyes.  Ron stared at it curiously, but Harry seemed to know immediately what it was and seemed embarrassed._

            "_The Joy of Sex_?" Ron read the title questioningly, looking to Hermione for an explanation.  Of course he knew what sex was, but how was this supposed to make Luna obsessed with him?  He couldn't very well apply any of this if she didn't at least invite him to her bed, and the thought of that made Ron very nervous.  He didn't want to sleep with the girl; he just wanted to pay her back.  No matter what his stupid dreams told him.

            "I have a few chapters tabbed for quick study.  Read this one," she said, turning to a chapter that contained the word "cunnilingus".

            "_Cunnilingus_?  Is that some sort of incantation or spell?" Ron asked, genuinely curious.  Hermione paled a bit but answered as Ginny laughed harder than ever in the background.

            "I suppose you could say that.  Just read the book, you stupid git.  If you want to know anything, you've got to study even if it is a muggle book.  I've overheard you talking about Luna, and if you want to force her to think of you then this will do more than any spell," she explained, squaring her shoulders and crossing her arms.  Harry laughed a bit nervously to ease the silent tension.

            "Thank you for the help, Hermione but I don't think Ron should—"

            "Shut up, Harry!  You should read it too.  Not that I condone underage sex, but you two should stop acting so immature when it comes to women.  Perhaps if you know what it means to please us—I mean them, you'll stop this demeaning behavior," she said.

            "Amen!" Ginny exclaimed.  The two girls walked away together, laughing amongst themselves.  Ron and Harry were left in the common room to stare at the white paperback book that Hermione had entrusted to them.  They both read through it, glad that none of the other Gryffindors had noticed the exchange.  Except for Seamus Finnigan.

            "What's this?  _The Joy of Sex?  My mum and dad have a copy of that.  Good book, that is.  Are you brushing up on your techniques?" he asked, unconcerned with the fact that Harry and Ron were made very uncomfortable by his question.  When they didn't answer, Seamus laughed._

            "You've never applied it then?  What a shame!  Who are you thinking of trying it out on?  No, don't answer that.  D'you need tips and strategies?" Seamus rattled on.  It was rather well known that Seamus was very successful with the female population of Hogwarts.  Harry and Ron were a bit in awe of him and nodded, not about to refuse a friendly lesson from the other Gryffindor boy.

            Seamus Finnigan seemed very knowledgeable despite the fact that he had never had a relationship last longer than twenty-four hours and found much hate mail left in his seats in various classes.  Ron and Harry paid rapt attention.

            "Right then, I'm starving.  Let's go eat!  No pun intended," Seamus winked.  Ron and Harry forced a laugh and followed him out to the dining hall for dinner.  When Ron entered his eye was immediately attracted to the blonde head of Luna Lovegood as if by magnet.  She sat across from that friend of hers, (what was her name again?  Goya?  Garfield?) conversing.  No doubt making fun of him.  They saw him from across the room but ignored him, turning back to each other.

            Ron decided to take matters into his own hands and let go of his shyness.  Desperately hoping no on from his house besides Harry and Seamus would notice, he made his way to the Ravenclaw table.  He plopped his arse down right next to Luna and leaned into her.  Luna stopped in mid-sentence and turned very slowly to meet his eye.

            "Forgive my interruption, ladies.  May I have a word with you, Luna?" Ron said in what he hoped was a very charming manner.  Luna, taken aback, merely nodded.  Ron gently took hold of her arm to help her out of her seat and pulled her aside to the entrance.  Her friend watched them leave with shock written all over her face.

            When they were hidden in a bit of shadow, Ron pulled the object that Luna had dropped that very day from the pocket of his sweater.  When she saw it, her eyes grew very wide and she looked at him with a sight lot more gratitude than he felt he deserved.  He pushed his feelings of guilt aside, however and smiled winningly.

            "You dropped this earlier.  I wanted to return it to you," he said, handing over her precious photograph.  She took it reverently, touching his hand in the process.

            "Ronald, you wonderful boy.  I was beside myself without it!  This is the second time you've retrieved it for me.  Thank you!" she exclaimed gratefully, holding the piece of paper above her heart.  Ron smiled and took a deep breath, remembering all that Seamus had told him.

            "Yes, well I would do anything for a beautiful woman," he said suavely, winking.  Luna looked a bit confused but held her smile all the same.  Ron decided to take things a bit further and leaned over to whisper into her ear.  "Wouldn't you like to repay my generosity?" then stood back to test her reaction.  Fully expecting her to swoon at his feet, he was deeply shocked when she slapped him across the face instead.

            "How dare you?  You are a perverted, hateful, conniving bastard!  I'd rather make love to a Death Eater!" she drove her point home by stomping on his foot with all her weight.  Everyone in the dining hall turned at this exchange and laughed when Ron was left behind gasping with pain as Luna Lovegood fled the dining hall.  Her friend ran after her but not before kicking Ron in the shin before exiting.

            Ron's only thought at this point was one word.  _Fuck._

_…_

            Luna ran all the way to her dormitory, never pausing in spite of the fact that her only friend was close on her heels and shouting for her to wait.  Luna didn't stop until she reached her bed and fell on it face first.  Gretchen slowed down, thoroughly winded.  She sat on the bed next to Luna to catch her breath.

            "How dare he?  That slimy git!  A Slytherin would have had more tact than him.  How dare he?" she asked again, fuming and pounding her bed with a fist.  Gretchen said nothing, only stared at Luna.  She had never seen her angry before, and was quite bewildered that she would let something so silly get to her when she never batted an eyelash when the girls would steal her sweaters and wear them right in front of her or put chewed gum in her slippers.

            "He was making fun of me!  Honestly, what have I ever done to him?  Am I so unattractive that he has to be so sarcastic when it comes to having sex with me?" she demanded of Gretchen.  Gretchen gasped when Luna looked up and she saw the tears on her cheeks.  The other girl felt a lump in her throat at the sight and patted Luna on the back awkwardly.

            "It's not as bad as all that.  How do you know he was being sarcastic?  Perhaps he really is attracted to you, Luna," Gretchen soothed.  Luna's tears only seemed to increase.  Horrified, Gretchen grabbed Luna's arm and pulled her up into a sitting position.

            "Stop that simpering and carrying on right now!  It doesn't solve any damn thing!  I don't know why this is bothering you so much.  He's just a stupid boy and I, for one, will never speak to or look at him again.  In my opinion, he's only a sex-starved adolescent who needs a lesson or two in proper social behavior," Gretchen stated firmly.  This seemed to get through to Luna, for the girl wiped her tears away and had a determined look upon her face.

            "You're right, Gretchen.  He's only a stupid prat, and I'm going to teach him a lesson," Luna said, looking beyond Gretchen and obviously plotting something.  Gretchen didn't like the sound of it.

            "What are you going to do?" she asked.

            "I'm going to pretend to be in love with Ronald Weasley."


End file.
